Beauty: How to maintain your dignity after surgery

Invasive medical treatment can be a physically and emotionally demanding experience. While recovering, it's natural to feel vulnerable or dependent on others. However, maintaining your dignity after surgery is crucial for a positive emotional outcome. This is especially true if you value taking care of your appearance.

Being able to stay in control of things like going to the toilet without the need for personal care may be one of your priorities.

Another may be finding the right pillow to support you during your recovery. There’s nothing worse than not being able to settle down for some much-needed beauty sleep!

Preparation for surgery is, therefore, crucial.

If you are worried about managing basic tasks, like wiping your bum, there are inexpensive tools available that can help. For my second mastectomy, I invested in a simple, hygienic tool that holds tissue paper and can be used without extending an arm around the back. It cost under £10 and ensured I was able to maintain independence. 

For comfort, I purchased a wedge pillow which ensured I was upright and not slumped when sitting or sleeping. It made getting comfortable really easy. It was also very lightweight, meaning I could move it to wherever I needed it without putting a strain on my wound. In fact, I'm using it as I type this - three days after my operation!

Other major considerations included ensuring I had enough pain relief at home, clothes that were easy to put on and take off and sensible shoes I could just slip on. Small things but, actually, important things. 

Getting the right help to maintain your dignity after surgery

Having someone at home, especially for the first 24 to 48 hours, is important. In fact, your stay in hospital could be extended if there is nobody to help you through those first crucial hours. Having said that, if you don’t feel well enough to be going home, speak out. There is a culture, especially in the NHS, at the moment that promotes very early release from hospital - even after major surgery.

If you have been treated in one of the NHS’s new day surgery units, make sure you feel up to being discharged. Tell someone if you have any concerns, such as feeling sick or experiencing pain. Ask for medication to take home, if you are concerned that over the counter medicines won’t cut it. Feeling a bit wobbly? Make use of a discharge lounge and delay leaving the hospital until you feel ready. Don’t be pressured by anyone into leaving if you feel unwell.

Plan your transport home in advance. A smooth journey can make a huge difference. Think about how you will get in and out of the transport. If you are using a taxi or private car, take your time and don’t force yourself to rush. If you are using hospital transport, use a ramp or ask to be put into a wheelchair for safe access. Never use public transport.

Before you go into the hospital, remove any clutter around the home to ensure floor space is clear and put items you are likely to use in places you can easily reach. Ask questions about the treatment you will be receiving so that you are properly informed about your recovery process, medications and potential complications. Understanding your situation empowers you to participate actively in your healing.

Once you are at home, relax. Don’t lift any heavy objects, including a kettle, and don’t bend down to pick anything up. Leave that to your helper. Try to get in some very light exercise, such as walking a few steps, from day one. Staying mobile, if possible, will get you on the road to recovery and help prevent complications such as blood clots. Unsexy as they are, keep your compression socks on for 24 hours, unless told otherwise. 

For peace of mind, make sure you have a thermometer and finger monitor to check your temperature, breathing and heart rate. They will help you identify any potential problems quickly but mostly be there to offer reassurance. It is also well worth getting in some sore throat lozenges, in case you wake up with discomfort caused by anaesthetic tubes. Make a note of important healthcare provider numbers and keep them with your phone.

Eat healthily. Stock up on food that is easy to prepare. Drink plenty of water and be proactive if you struggle to pass a stool. There's nothing worse than having to strain after surgery!

The nitty-gritty - personal care

Prepare in advance for limitations: Anticipate areas where you might need assistance, like showering or dressing. To start with, a simple strip wash at the bathroom sink with a flannel may be the safest option - if you are able to safely stand. If you are unsteady on your feet, ask someone to bring you a bowl or warm soapy water and use a damp flannel for a quick freshen up. For showers and baths, consider what safety equipment you may need to maintain your dignity after surgery. Ensure you know if and when you can get any dressings wet. Keeping a wound dry is crucial.

Don’t fuss about washing your hair. A dry shampoo will see you through those first, difficult days. Invest in some wipes to keep your face clean. Try to continue to use your moisturiser, if you can. Wash your hands regularly. 

Something as simple as brushing your teeth can really pep you up. Go for gentle, slow movements. If your mouth is feeling sensitive, brush with warm water - it will soften toothbrush bristles. 

If you need to use a sanitary towel or incontinence pad, the following tips will help you maintain complete independence:

• Before you go into hospital, put the pads on a surface level to a toilet. 

• Remove and replace pads while sitting on the loo. This avoids any need for bending and minimises the chance of a fall.

Maintaining your dignity after surgery will make the healing process much easier to navigate.

What to focus on to maintain your dignity

Stay connected with loved ones - even if it’s over the phone or on the web. Social interaction is vital for emotional well-being. 

Remember that simple activities like deep breathing exercises, meditation or listening to calming music can significantly reduce stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of inner peace.

Accept that healing is a journey, not a race. There will be good days and bad days. Accepting these ups and downs with patience prevents low points.

Don’t forget to acknowledge your progress, however small. Every step towards regaining strength and independence is a reason to be happy.

Remember, maintaining your dignity after surgery is about respecting yourself throughout the healing process. By prioritising open communication, self-care, emotional well-being, and realistic expectations, you can emerge from this experience feeling empowered, confident and… beautiful.